When you're gone
by Insomniac-A-Go-Go
Summary: Itachi senses his end is near & visits his brother for the last time. Oneshot spin off from my ongoing story "Skin asks for pleasure first", but works as a stand-alone too.YAOI, Uchihacest, Lemons, ItaSasu, Slight NaruSasu. Enjoy & pls leave a comment xxx


_**AN:** This is a little spin off from my bigger, ongoing fanfic-project "Skin asks for pleasure first", it really is kind of part of the story, but I decided to separate for not all agree with Uchihacest and my main story is DeiSaso, so don't wanna rub anybody in a wrong way. _

_Sigh... So, the compulsory warnings: YAOI, Mild NaruSasu, ItaSasu, Uchihacest and lemons -Don't like it don't read it. Simple, isn't it? ;)_

_I hope you enjoy this little One-off and please leave a comment/review. I am a closet-fanfic writer, so I don't really get feedback if my readers online won't give it so it will be very much appreciated._

_Love_

_~Insomniac_

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The night was viciously cold for early autumn. Clear skies, with only couple of lazy clouds smearing it as if they were painted on a dark canvas, gave way for the illuminating, pale moonlight. Itachi knew he would have to be extremely careful if he wanted to observe the targets of his interest unnoticed .

Although the shinobis under his surveillance were young, just mere teenagers, the Uchiha knew better than to take careless risks when it came to those two. He was well aware that the kids were his old village's most promising new talents. No surprises there though; the other one had a kyuubi sealed inside him while the other... well he carried on quite promisingly in the doomed Uchiha clan's footsteps. He was after all Itachi's own brother...

The Akatsuki hid himself high enough behind a tree where he could see to the front porch of Sasuke's house. The two young men seemed to be engaged in a conversation and despite of Itachi's poor eye sight he could fathom from the positions of their bodies that the topic was perhaps a bit too intimate for his liking.

The prodigy of the perished clan could not stand the idea of witnessing his beloved little brother being with someone else. In fact the idea made his blood boil. He had been fearing that the relationship between Sasuke and Naruto would flourish into something beyond friendship and it seemed like his fears were about to be confirmed. But Itachi also knew there was no one else to blame for it but himself. Like Sasuke had said during their last secret encounter quite some time ago, while they were having that final horrible fight; Itachi had abandoned his little brother because of his ideals.

Although Sasuke had been right, what the young Uchiha had failed to see was that those ideals were dear to his older brother only because of him. At an unfortunately young age, Itachi had reached a very deep and clear understanding about how the shinobi world was turning increasingly sinister. And to protect the person he loved more than anything from it, he'd chosen to suffer the lack of Sasuke's love and presence in his life. This had consequently also broken his otouto's heart.

Itachi sighed nervously watching the scene in front of him. He was wondering why wasn't he leaving? Why did he torture himself like this? And interfering was out of question. But at the same time he felt incredibly guilty for being selfish. To think that if he couldn't have Sasuke, nobody would was a horrible and wrong. After all, he wanted his little brother to be happy... and he had given up his chance to provide him that happiness. However Itachi was only a human being and could not help the raging jealousy and possessiveness he felt when someone else was so close to Sasuke. Leaning towards him, seemingly trying to engage his lips into a kiss...

Itachi's eyes widened. Why didn't he turn away? He felt a tight knot forming in his stomach as he was concentrating in tuning his ear into the pairs conversation.

_"Why am I doing this? It would be so much easier not to know... to convince myself he still loves me..."_

Sasuke and Naruto were standing on the porch dimly lit by an old oil-lamp surrounded by moths dancing around the sheltered flame. The chirping of the grasshoppers served as perfect background music for the rather romantic, almost picturesque scene Naruto had been hoping to achieve with his best friend from the very day they met. Tonight he would have his chance to win Sasuke's heart.

The young raven was well aware of his boisterous childhood friend's true intentions. Naruto had never even attempted to hide his feelings for him, but Sasuke had always hesitated and squirmed his way out of any situations where a blatant confrontation could take place. He hated the idea of being put into a situation where he would have to turn Naruto down because in fact he had no idea what he wanted from the boy. To say that he had no interest in the blonde in any other way than as a friend would not be entirely right either... but truthfully he was way too hung up on his first love to consider anyone else taking his place.

But lately Sasuke had begun to give Naruto more leniencies when openly flirting with him, so the boy felt quite confident his time had come. So there, under the atmospheric light of the moon and a single flame, the lonely Uzumaki finally guided Sasuke against the wall so he could not escape or hesitate and leaned towards the equally desolate young man to claim his long dreamt first kiss.

Sasuke panicked. He was not ready for this, but he didn't want to turn Naruto down either. It wasn't the first time they were in this kind of situation but this time Sasuke felt more inclined than ever to respond and he just wasn't ready. He tried to escape the awkwardness of the moment by joking

"Hn, dobe... Why do you always have to come on my skin?" he asked with his usual irritated, overconfident tone.

Naruto wasn't going to let go of his chance that easily. He leant a bit closer, blocking Sasuke's exit by placing his hands against the wall on both sides of the raven and played along with the Uchiha's mocking remark

"It's your own fault..." he started defying his friend argumentatively but carried on whispering to Sasuke's ear

"...for being so irresistible..." the blondes lips grazed the raven's ear lobe softly, with a velvety touch that was barely there.

Naruto's deepened voice and warm breath against his ear sent shivers down Sasuke's spine which he tried desperately to ignore.

_"Why can't I just go with it?" _

As the young Uchiha was struggling with his thoughts, the blonde collected his courage and pressed his body closer to his friend's and started tentatively blowing feather light butterfly kisses along his ivory cheek... to his jaw, inch by inch working his way almost timidly towards the lips he had been longing for ever since he could remember.

When Naruto reached his goal, instead of impatiently devouring Sasuke with his mouth, he stopped for a split second and closed his eyes savouring the moment. Speaking quietly so that the other could feel his every word against his lips, Naruto sighed pushing himself closer, nuzzling his nose against the object of his desire

"Sasuke... you are driving me crazy..." after which the blonde pressed his mouth against his friend's engaging it in a passionate kiss filled with all the emotions he had kept hidden... which was cut short by Sasuke, who quickly turned his head on the side, away from the reach of Naruto's touch. The boy didn't even think of what he was doing, withdrawing from the kiss came like an automated reaction... as if he couldn't help it.

The rejection was crushing for Naruto, who started to grow impatient with his fickle friend.

"I see..." he said with an obvious disappointment shining through from his tone "So it's still like this..."

Sasuke's heart missed a beat. So the dobe had always known...! The Uchiha tried to save the situation and avoid confrontation by still playing it cool

"Urusatonkachi... I-"

"Please..." Naruto interrupted Sasuke with such seriousness and intensity in his voice that the Uchiha stopped talking abruptly. Completely stunned by the genuineness which Naruto displayed with his every gesture, he couldn't help but listen to his friend intently, abandoning the role of an untouchable tough guy he used to shield himself from anything real

"Sasuke... Call me by my name..." the blonde said with a hint of almost something sad "For once... Call me by my name, as if you were my lover."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"Na-Naruto...?"he uttered.

Letting out a heavy sigh the usually light-hearted young shinobi turned his gaze away from the object of his affection, feeling defeated

"So you can't even do that, huh?"

"Naruto..." Sasuke tried to sound as apologetic as possible, he had feared for this moment and now that it was here, it felt even worse than he had imagined

"I'm sorry, Naruto... I... I need more-"

"Time. Yeah-yeah... I've got it." he muttered frustrated and disappointed. Knowing not what to say anymore he tapped his palm into the wall, looking to his side to the woods in front of the house.

The silence was deafening. The blonde was expecting some sort of response but the Uchiha's attention was directed to the horizon

_"Hn...?Was that... a raven...?"_ he pondered absent mindedly, making a half hearted mental note of it only because that kind of bird did not dwell in Konoha, at least it had not done so in years.

Sasuke was so poorly prepared to answer Naruto's need for an explanation, he escaped into anything to avoid the uncomfortable subject which he had no mental capability to handle right then. He couldn't even bring himself to look at his friend. Naruto understood that reactions in these situations speak for themselves... and if anyone would still speak at all tonight it would have to be him.

"All I can do -as always- is to wait and hope that one day you can let go of whoever it is... who obviously still has a hold of your heart." the blonde's voice nearly gave in at the very end and he turned to leave.

Sasuke felt terrible. A part of him wanted to scream and tell the blonde not to go, but all he could do was watch the back of the ever so reliable orange jacket gaining distance between them. Before it disappeared into the woods it stopped. Without turning around Naruto said with a worn out voice

"Well Sasuke... You know where to find me... when you're ready... If you'll ever be. But no matter how deeply I've fallen in love with you... I can't wait forever."

For the second time during that night Sasuke's heart missed a beat.

"Did he just tell me he's... IN LOVE with me?!?" the raven haired teenager had heard those words from only one other person in his life before... and it had been a while. Before he could really understand the weight and worth of his best friend's words, he had already disappeared into the night.

"Naruto..." Sasuke whispered to himself.

The shocked Uchiha turned to make his way inside, dragging his feet unwillingly. He was dumbstruck and somewhat disappointed in himself. He climbed the creaking wooden stairs up and opened the door of his bedroom, hesitating for a second as if waiting to hear Naruto's voice suddenly calling him from downstairs.

"_What am I doing?" _Sasuke thought his tired mind overworked.

He stepped inside his room closing his door behind him, not bothering with the lights. The moon gave a pale shadowy tone to the room and the onyx haired young man vaguely registered that he should close the window as it was getting colder. He leaned his hands against his desk and hung his head so that his dark strands of hanging hair hid his face.

"_Damn you!! Naruto loves me... and he's warm, kind, caring... he can make me laugh even when I think all I can feel is hatred. He's everything one could ever hope for... He's the only person I've encountered who could really make me happy... If I could only let go of YOU! Who offers me nothing!"_there was an unsteady, lazy rhythm of a sound from tears dropping on the table.

_"I don't want these feelings anymore! Please let me forget and carry on with my life!"_ Sasuke didn't know who he was making his plea for but there was no doubt about who was the one his next thoughts were directed to

_"It's not fair; You could leave me behind so easily... but I still, after all this time... cannot let go!!"_

"Itachi..." Sasuke said aloud with a quivering voice, squeezing his hands into fists.

"So you knew I was here..." the deep voice answered from the darkness.

"From the very moment you arrived." Sasuke replied quietly without lifting his head.

Itachi jumped down from the windowsill with a grace of a cat, barely making a sound. He was wearing his Anbu-uniform as moving around in Konoha in an Akatsuki-cloak could end up being quite troublesome. Sasuke was swallowing his tears, he did not want his brother seeing him cry.

"Was that the reason you turned him down?" Itachi asked with a hint of jealousy and suspicion.

If Sasuke avoided direct discussion with Naruto to the point of ridicule, he did not feel such necessity with his brother; the two had been through too much together to play cat and mouse anymore.

"You know the answer so why do you ask?" Sasuke tightened his fists.

He could feel his brother getting closer and before he knew it Itachi's was standing right behind him, his body pressed lightly against his back, the familiar slender fingers caressing his hips.

"Don't. I can't do this. I can't handle this any more."Sasuke gasped desperately, knowing he would have to deny Itachi quickly.

He was already fighting against the overwhelming need for his touch, his body remembered the euphoria those hands would bring too well. The memory was imprinted in his nervous system.

"Otouto..." Itachi whispered with a voice full of all the unspoken feelings he had for his little brother.

Sasuke shivered at the sound if it... it made his heart flutter uncontrollably and he wanted nothing more than to turn around and be embraced and taken by the only person he had ever truly desired, but he knew that to give in would only bring him more agony afterwards.

"Please. Just go." he pleaded.

"I came to say goodbye. I wanted to touch you, to feel you... for the very last time." the raven sighed his breath nearly caught in his throat. He was already aching for Sasuke.

"Don't! Naruto... he loves me. And _he _deserves to be loved back! And I can't because every time you leave it's like you're taking all of me with you and when you're gone all there's left of me is this empty husk. It's too painful. So...if you ever really cared for me please go!" the younger Uchiha could no longer hide his tears.

"Please... call me Aniki, just once more like you used to..." Itachi whispered quietly. He knew he was being selfish but he simply couldn't help himself. The yearning for his brother consuming his heart was all-engulfing.

"Stop it." Sasuke summoned every little inch of his self-control to try and command Itachi to end what he had started. But he couldn't make himself move to prevent Itachi's hands from wandering... they felt so godly, bringing back an undistinguishable flow of sweet memories. His touch was so soft, loving and bitter sweet... it made every single cell in his body burn and shiver from anticipation and longing.

"Otouto... Look at me" Itachi said sternly.

"Nnh... No..." The younger tried to resist futilely. Sasuke was already getting drunk on his brother's scent. His senses were on an overdrive and his body was ruling his mind. Sasuke knew that if he would have to look at his brother's beautiful face and those mesmerizing onyx eyes, he would get lost in those divine dark orbs and would surrender himself without so much as a hint of questioning.

_Drip..._

_Drip..._

For a couple of seconds there was just the sound of the young man's tears falling onto his desk. Itachi's natural reaction to Sasuke's obvious sorrow was to comfort him by pulling his body in a tight embrace, just like he had always done ever since the two were kids. He could not help but kissing the tears away from his beautiful little brother's cheeks. The close body contact and soft lips grazing against delicate skin made both of their hearts beat faster and the older brother's so far rather innocent touches became more passionate and the younger brother's reactions to them grew more aroused. They were both trying to hold back their sighs but as their suppressed quivering panting became evident the sexual tension between those two grew almost intolerable.

"Aah... Aniki... Why? Why are you doing this?" Sasuke gasped helplessly.

"Because otherwise... I would overflow." Itachi whispered almost holding back his tears as well. He knew he was hurting Sasuke and he hated himself for that. But it was as if the destiny of the two brothers was pre-written... they were both powerless against each other.

Sasuke knew he had lost. He couldn't think of anything except for his Aniki on his lips, his beautiful hands all over his bare skin, Itachi's flawless, divine body on top of his, his deep gaze full of love and lust. He wanted to be lost in Itachi's intoxicating scent, just one more time...

"Sasuke..." Itachi sighed and grabbed his brothers hips and gently turned him around.

The younger Uchiha was leaning against the desk, his head still hanging. Slowly he lifted his eyes to meet his brother's... His lids were hooded, his eyes glazed with desire. As he finally saw Itachi's face, the emotions washed over him with such force he thought his heart was about to burst.

"God, I want you...Aniki" was all Sasuke had time to say before they simultaneously devoured each other.

Itachi crashed all the clutter from Sasuke's desk to the floor and lifted his otouto on the table, tearing his clothes off, kissing him hungrily between his heavy pants. He had been waiting for this moment for what felt like a life time. He wanted to be inside his lover already, the wait had been almost too long to bear.

"Aniki...ah... Just take me already!" Sasuke panted. He was impatient to be completed by his lover. He had felt like a half a person ever since Itachi had left and now the longing took a form of a very concrete, raw physical need.

The older Uchiha didn't need to be asked twice. He felt the exactly the same compelling need, which was verging madness. He wrapped Sasuke's legs around him and pushed himself inside him as slowly as he could in his over aroused, frantic state.

The dry, unprepared sex of Itachi brought immense pain to Sasuke, but he didn't care. He would bear it for the sake of their passion and love for one another. The source of his satisfaction was more mental than physical; he wanted to surrender to his Aniki and do anything to please him. It would be far more exciting for him than physical pleasure.

"Aaahh! Otouto! I..nngh.. Love you!!" Itachi almost screamed as he thrusted into Sasuke in pure ecstasy.

Hearing his older brother lose himself because of him, made Sasuke moan in response. It didn't take long for Itachi to reach his climax after that. He collapsed on top of his brother on the desk, trying to catch his breath. They were lying there in the silence for a while, not saying s single word or moving a muscle.

Suddenly a pang of remorse and fear hit Sasuke. He realized how empty he would feel when Itachi would pull out of him and leave him alone again. His heart was starting to feel like it was full of saturnine.

"So..." Sasuke muttered his voice reflecting the inevitable heartbreak "This was your way of saying goodbye... again...?"

Itachi raised himself on his elbows to be able to look at his brother in the eye.

"Not by far..." he whispered and gently brushed his little brother's cheek lightly with the back of his hand, smiling reassuringly.

Then he leaned down to kiss Sasuke tenderly and grabbed him by his waist to lift him up. The younger one's legs were still hooked behind Itachi's back so the slightly taller man had no problems carrying Sasuke to his bed. He lay the vulnerable looking young man down on the sheets and settled next to him. Itachi was staring into his brother's eyes in love.

"My heart will stay forever here with you... Even if I would be gone. Do you understand?"

Sasuke frowned, he had a troubling feeling that there was something behind Itachi's words he wasn't quite able to deal with. The young shinobi could not understand why -if someone could look so in love as Itachi did- why could he not stay?

"I thought you would leave after we've made..." Sasuke said he's words getting caught in his throat. He had to pause to gather his ability to speak

"A-are you going to stay this time?" he nearly didn't dear to ask.

Itachi sighed and started kissing his lover, first showering every contour of his perfect face lovingly with soft pecks, then moving down to tease the sensitive skin of his neck with his soft lips and tongue. Sasuke felt his skin heating up as his Aniki's hands wandered on his extremely responsive body, lower, finally reaching his aching hardness.

Sasuke suffocated a gasp as Itachi's soft palm enveloped his pulsating need.

"I-..I's this your way of answering my question?" Sasuke said trying not to let go of the subject that easily. He knew in his heart Itachi didn't want to reply because the answer would be something he was afraid to hear. But the young man was struggling to think as the pleasure his lover was giving him was escalating...

"Otouto... You know the answer... But we have tonight and I promise I won't leave before sunrise."  
Itachi said as he stroked the now lustfully gasping Sasuke.

He then sank down and started pleasuring the writhing puddle that was his brother by taking him in his mouth. Slowly... caressing his length with his tongue, knowing how incredibly wonderful it would make Sasuke feel.

"Oh God!!! Aniki! Aah..." the young man was quickly reduced to gasps and moans

The young raven could barely make any sense of what his big brother had been saying but he sighed in relief inside his head before he lost himself completely in his lovers skilful caresses. At least Itachi would be his for the night.

The two stayed up all night drowning each other in kisses and caresses, grazing their bodies examining every inch of them, worshipping each other. Their love and lust for each other was repeatedly displayed by heated sighs, moans and secret, passionate confessions, when the two almost desperately and insatiably took each other in ever rising heights of euphoria. After hours of making love the two fell asleep in each others arms, bodies tangled so close to one another it would have been a physical impossibility to get any closer to another human being.

"Otouto... remember me..." Itachi whispered almost inaudibly "No one will ever love you more than I did... it is impossible."

Sasuke heard this vaguely through his dream and when he woke up alone in his bed just before sunrise, he was convinced those words never escaped his brother's lips.

_"I thought you said... `I promise I won't leave before sunrise´" _Sasuke hung his head full of disappointment and hollowness of the pale autumn morning

_"Bastard..." _

He didn't want to cry, he hated himself for doing so, but the heartbroken raven could not help the hot tears filling his eyes...again.

_"I swear... Itachi; You've broken me for the last time!" _

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_AN: So there. What do you think? I really think that's it, although it would have possibilities. I'm maybe afraid it will take too much time from my main project if this gets out of hand (too... as all my writing projects tend to do... ;) _

_(If you are one of the readers who know "Skin...", it will be quite self-explanatory what's on the cards for Itachi...)_


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